


Reach for yourself, Listen to your soul

by Luvkyloreylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anger Management, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Battle, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bonds Beyond Time, Character Death, Denial of Feelings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fear, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Visions, Forehead Touching, Forgiveness, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Hope, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Imprisonment, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Mind Manipulation, Original Character(s), POV Rey (Star Wars), Presumed Dead, Rebirth, Redeemed Ben Solo, References to Depression, Rey Needs A Hug, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Spirit World, Strangers to Lovers, Strong Female Characters, Time Travel, Touching, Trost Arc Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 16,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22436914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luvkyloreylo/pseuds/Luvkyloreylo
Summary: Rey watched him fade, disappear into somewhere she couldn’t reach. His last breath was given to her mouth... his last heartbeat pumped in her chest. She had hated the monster... wanted to hate the dark knight who’d chased her across the galaxy. She had felt compassion for the boy with so many hidden scars... who bore her scar... wanted his arms around her. He was her enemy... he became her friend. Kylo Ren... Ben Solo... Kylo had saved her from his master... Ben Solo saved her from her grandfather... she felt his spirit leave her side. She couldn’t share his triumph with her friends... none of them would mourn him, praise him. But, she knew deep within, his parents were proud in that moment. She wished she could tell him that...
Relationships: Finn/Armitage Hux, Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa & Ben Solo & Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 170
Kudos: 135
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. Grief

Rey didn’t want to dampen their celebration.

She knew the fall of the dark armies was worth such joyous time. Their words of praise only made the victory feel more empty... empty without him. His life for hers... there would have been no victory without him.

Hadn’t she tried to kill him in her moments of rage ...?

Hadn’t he tried to kill her trying to possess, control, dominate, ...?

But, as their lips parted, the pure happiness in his eyes had also been sincere. So innocent...

Her tears after were potent. The loss... boundless.

Why had she heard the voices, felt their strength, and he hadn’t?

Why had his family come to her through the force, and left him shunned?

Kylo may have been evil, but Ben Solo had come charging to aid her with no thought of himself.

Her friend, her bond mate, her soulmate, her heart.

It felt right to bury Luke and Leia’s sabers, forge her own. She was neither... not truly a Jedi... not a Sith...   
  


The sand was home to the beginning.   
The sand a familiar place to say goodbye. To take his family name, Skywalker... but, in all the ways that mattered... was she truly a Solo?

She couldn’t stop reaching through the force for his spirit. His force energy had to be there... with them?

Could she pull him back, from the world beyond? Could she bend time to her will if she wanted it enough?

One kiss wasn’t enough...

She could still feel his hands, his warmth, his surrender to something stronger than sin... than salvation... 

Rey let herself smile into the setting suns, Rey Solo... he was still with her.

She would find a way.


	2. Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo crashed to the floor again... his nightmares worse than before. But now, the wraiths tearing him apart... his guilt... they were watched. She hovered at the edges. The girl with no name... the no one... who was she? Had he struck her down on one of the many planets he overtook for his master? He wiped the sweat from his face. Hux would be pestering him soon enough again about Luke ... Snoke wanted him found. The map... his mother... would he never have a moment of peace?

Rey felt strange here. This mental plain seemed so vast. So many spirits... how would she find him?

If she quieted her mind, centered, she could dip a toe in... glance about. But, she always got yanked back too soon. Time was never on her side. Their side.

Time was the answer...

Kylo learned too late what he really wanted... needed... 

Maybe if...?

It was a crazy thought.

He was dead... gone. Ben was gone.

Finn commed her again... again again... Poe and the others sought her out. She left their messeges unaswered. Ben couldn’t have come home with her to them, he would have been arrested... put on trial... executed.

Her friends would have killed the man she...

The son of Leia Organa and Han Solo would have been used as an example.

But wasn’t he a victim too... not just a villain? A boy who’s mind had been raped by a true beast... manipulated by her grandfather? Just as his own grandfather Anakin had? She’d called him a monster so long ago, he had owned the title. He told his father it was too late to come home. He had been right... these remaining people would have crucified him...

Her love would have had her labeled as traitor.

The force had reasons.

It had to have reasons...

Wasn’t she just as torn ? Just as weak? The darkness ever creeping... growing...? Her bloodline cursed like his? Worse even?

She dreamed of nights that would never happen... of passions she couldn’t feel... touches she refused to explore without his hands.

Some nights she saw him toss and turn, tormented. Was that how he’d lived? Haunted?

So real, she could almost smell his sweat... his blood.

Cruel fates...

Rey saw the pain there... reflections of their doomed future.

”Ben...?” She prayed out to no one.


	3. Malice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wondered, if she’d known the truth about her family... known who she really was... would she have fought so hard to deny their connection? Would she have stayed so long on Jakku? Bothered seeking out Luke? Joined the Resistance or face the First Order? Would she have knelt at her grandfather’s dark will? Embraced or pushed away the light? Right now, in her grief, she could only cry and scream at it all... the wasted time.

Kylo flinched.   
  


His body ached from his master’s reminder. He always felt like he wasn’t enough... a failure.

Why was it never enough?

His blood...

His sweat...

His skin mapped by scars...

He was forever drowning in regret... loneliness... guilt...

His mother.

  
His father.

His uncle.

His legacy... How could they hide it from him? The truth always comes out. All they’d done was hand him over to be ridiculed... taunted. His power, his bloodline, it was feared... hated...

He slashed through the training droids like butter. It didn’t quiet the noise...

His Master...

Master is wise... 

He will show him the path. He wants him to reach his full potential.   
  


He snarled, he would find him! Destroy him!

Luke couldn’t hide forever.

He knew she was here... somewhere. He felt it. The girl... she had the droid, the key. He stomped through the forest, he sensed her fear.   
  


Rey reached so far, finally feeling the time she wanted.

Before Starkiller, before he murdered Han, before she scarred him... before the Resistance was chased and gunned down. She felt his focused anger, his intention.

He found her in the forest...

She could remember vividly him freezing her in place as she starred at him helpless, he knew she had seen the map BB8 held... it was before he put her in a force sleep, took her to interrogate.

Rey smiled.   
  


Stopped running.

Her awakening more potent as she merged with the ‘Rey’ in this time. Would he see? Would he feel it? Would he know she was different?

No... he hasn’t bonded with this her yet.

She turned to face Kylo Ren.

  
  


Kylo found the girl.

But she didn’t run? Her fear previously so thick was absent. Her gaze held strength... certainty?

”the girl I’ve heard so much about.” He motioned to freeze her.

Rey saw his denial and frustration as his attempt held no effect. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Call off the division, tell them to pull out. I saw the map, I’m all you need. But, we can’t go to Starkiller. Take me somewhere else, we need to talk. Alone...”

Tokodana was on fire beyond the forest, she could hear the battle.

Something in her eyes made him falter. Who was she? Her power radiated now that he focused. Why had he not recognized it moments before ?

”because I’m not the terrified scavenger you were about to meet, and I didn’t want you to feel it until now. Tell them to pull out, do not take any prisoners, and I’ll come willingly.” She offered him a grin.

Kylo was so shocked his anger dissipated. “Pull the division out, I ...have what we came for.” He directed his soldiers.

”General Hux, I won’t be returning to base. I have the map, I’m pursuing Skywalker.” Kylo commed Hux.

He motioned for her to follow him. But, as she walked closer he noticed her saber. It hung at her hip. How?   
  
  


Rey was especially proud her saber had joined her. It had been tricky, but her power channeling had allowed her to grip it tight as she projected. She needed him to see it. Safe in the cave, her body ... her real body remained statue still frozen in a force sleep no one could break but her, surrounded by energy no one could pierce. He was so intimidating in person again, as he was... this wasn’t Ben, she had to remember that.

As they boarded his ship, “why has a Jedi sought to be captured by the First Order?”

Rey took a seat beside him in the cockpit. “I’m no Jedi... maybe I am spiritually somewhat, and I am not giving myself to the First Order... I gave myself to you. I gave myself to Ben Solo.”

Kylo spun. “What did you say?!”


	4. Hello Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo burned with fury. “How do you know that name?!”

“I know you are Ben Solo, you took the name you have now in a futile effort to kill your past. A past that holds Luke Skywalker as your uncle... General Leia Organa-Solo as your mother... Han Solo as your father... and your grandfather was Anakin Skywalker... Darth Vader.” Rey stated rather too matter a factly in his opinion.

”how does a fucking scavenger know anything about me?!” He scowled. Darkness circled.

Rey dismissed it’s tendrils, “because I got to know all of him... you. Your mind has never been solely yours, you’ve made rather bad decisions since Luke contemplated murdering you in your sleep at his academy... since you felt abandoned by Leia and Han... but despite their faults, they loved you. You’re all flawed... all of you. I am too...my grandfather is evil incarnate. Emperor Palpatine lives... has a vast army of darkness building to crush the universe, as he pulls Snoke’s strings.. yours... He’s biding his time. Starkiller needs to be destroyed and you need to man up and put Kylo Ren away.”

He was pissed and flummoxed.

The darkness obeyed her?!

She spoke of things she shouldn’t know?! Things he wasn’t aware anyone knew... things that no one knew.

”you...?!” He clenched his fists. “You can’t have that kind of power! You didn’t!”

”no she didn’t, until I slipped in. I have a lot in the years to come. No small thanks to you, you brought me back to life... we are bonded... a dyad in the force. You killed your master, but he wasn’t the real evil we were facing. The First Order, the Resistance... both pawns. Both your parents and your guilt ridden uncle sacrifice themselves to save you... us all. You saved everything... And the universe rose up to fight.” Rey turned from his glare, wiping a tear away.

He had no response.

He couldn’t absorb.

He killed his master?!

His parents... his uncle fought for him?!

This ...girl was his bond mate?!

”we are not...” he started.

”we are. Read me...” she let him in, brought down every defense.   
  


The force overwhelmed him. The pulse between them was impossible, but there. She was in his veins! He saw her memories... of them ...of him! Of their original meeting, his interrogation... how she’d pushed him from her mind creating the bond... how it evolved... 

He gasped. His chest hurt. Heart attack... was he having a heart attack?!

He saw himself... almost not murder Han ...but do it, cutting him to the bone- ...almost fire on his mother... but not do it, it left him bare- fighting with this girl over and over, comforting each other secretly, his numerous attempts to manipulate her that turned into a confusing compassion, choosing her over Snoke, fighting at her side, ...choosing to seek status and power over her- her rejection and all that followed when they reconnected a year later... how her power and his power grew! The emperor... 

He breath hitched, “I ...I think I’m going to pass out...” his lashes fluttered as he slid from the seat. He lost consciousness.

Rey pulled him back into his seat, strapped him in. She felt his mind racing, trying to reconcile the new and old information. Ben and Kylo arguing in his head. His fractured spirit dizzy.

He was raging and mourning.

His flickering light expanding, even as his darkness shoved it back.

She took advantage.

Rey sent an encrypted messege to where she knew Leia was now. A warning.

They could avoid the whole doomed chase that ended at Crait.

They had the details of Starkiller, now, how to find it and destroy it. How Poe and his team could blow it with minimal losses. She saved lives, she hoped...  
  


She sent a second messege.

To General Hux, using Kylo Ren’s codes. A warning that Snoke wasn’t who they thought, who the Sith behind the being they feared really was. How inconsequential his beloved First Order was. Who was loyal to the Emperor. To evacuate his people unless he wanted them to perish on his vile weapon for no reason... she included a few snippets so he knew she was trustworthy.  
  


Third messege. 

Han was next. To let this Finn know Rey was ok, not to worry. She told Han to let his wife know their son was coming home... soon. But, not yet. To join Leia wherever she needed him to meet her. That they were stronger together.  
  


Rey felt herself solidifying. Her memories merging with the poor younger version of herself that felt so alone... 

Who’d starved.

Who’s struggled. So lonely... so lost...

The force wound deep, a mixture of dark and light.   
  


Ben would be too this round... hopefully.

She changed their destination to the island.

To Luke.

He needed to apologize.

Ben needed to hear it and be heard. 

Rey let her lids close to rest after checking Kylo to make sure he was ok.

The force sang as she held his hand in hers.

Rest...

She was so tired...


	5. Sore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo groaned. He felt like he’d been stomped by a herd of banthas. What the fuck was going on?! How had some slip of nothing knocked him out?! No... she’d used the force on him, but it was the massive onslaught of memories that weren’t his that had fried his brain cells. She wanted that man... not him! She... had affection... for him!

He blinked, noticing he was laying on his bed in his quarters.   
  
No... not his quarters... not a bed!

Rain...

He smelled rain...

”you cannot force that man to be him!” He heard outside. Familiar voice.

”I’m not really, Ben was always inside and under the surface. You thought he’d made his choice back then... he was just a scared boy! You pushed him into Snoke’s hands by contemplating murdering him for the greater good! You created Kylo Ren!” It was her voice now. Angry... bitter... pained.

”I ...yes, I can never take that mistake back. I am ashamed of it. But, I wasn’t wrong! His mind had long been infected by that creature and he’s committed atrocities since he left my academy... a pile of ashes, billowing smoke.” Luke?! She was talking with Luke?!   
  


Hearing his uncle acknowledge his treacherous act was slightly pleasing, but rage crept up too.   
  


“he felt like it was his only option, to go to him... Snoke fed off his sadness... his heartbreak. You... his parents... you all made him feel he was unwanted, unloved, and he believed it! He felt hated! He was just a boy!” She flared the words at his uncle like spears.

Satisfying.

”you aren’t supposed to be here this way, you’ve changed things simply by twisting the force this ...he hasn’t grown like your version of Ben in this time. You took him from their path! The scavenger brought him back as he learned, the losses... the confusion... the protection you say he provided her ... well you. It won’t happen now. He is still Kylo Ren! He is not Ben Solo... he will take you to Snoke, or whoever he feels is his master and betray you for the power he thinks he is owed!” Luke yelled.   
  
“I warned them...” she offered. “While you’ve been a hermit hiding people have been dying! I sent word to Leia... to Han... even to that General Hux Ben hated... I had to try so I can talk to him here, reach him in maybe a different way. It took so long, so much pain and fighting, denial and time just dwindling for us to admit we cared... to accept our bond... for him to realize power wasn’t what he wanted. I fought against it too! I lost the man I hated and loved because we lost too much time!” Rey wailed, Kylo could hear the agony in her strangled words and the ache pulsing throughout the force.   
  


It tugged taunt, reaching to him. Inside places he thought long dormant. Gone. Dead.

What was this bullshit?!

Ben Solo was dead?!

He killed Ben Solo!

He was weak and foolish like his father!

That phrase stopped him cold... it was used from his mouth in one of her memories. When... when he’d murdered Han.   
  


Kylo listened intently.

  
”you told Leia in the future that no one is ever truly gone... why are you so quick to treat him as your enemy?! He’s your family! You tried to reach Anakin... you succeeded. Why wouldn’t I try to reach for the light in Ben.” Rey snarled. “He deserves it! He deserves love! He gave his life for me... for everyone in the end...” her weighted words trailed off.

”you are... right.” Luke sounded humbled. “I... owe it to him, for my mistake. For my sister... I have been a coward hiding here.”

“Han gave his life for his son... so did Leia... just trying to make him see. You faced him on Crait and the effort killed you! He wasn’t ready then... so full of hate and anger... so insecure because that damn master he served kept him feeling small! He wanted to use him! He raped his mind! Manipulating... That creature knew if Ben realized how powerful he could be channeled the right way... he would defeat them. The emperor is so saturated by the dark, Ben doesn’t bow to either of them ultimately.” She sighed. “Well, he chose not to bow for me... We chose against our supposed legacies wanting a new path...”

Luke sounded collected and concerned. “Rey, ...Ben, in this time, he doesn’t know you yet... doesn’t love you yet...”

Kylo cannot decide if he wants to ask for more information, or storm out and kill them both. But, she speaks so passionately about him... a version of him. It can’t be real?!

Her light is blinding now it’s so bright...

He feels like she’s in his head?!

Why is the force connecting them?

She can’t be doing these things?

It should kill her?!

Snoke... Palpatine...

His mother.

His father.

Luke.

Fuck!!!!

He groans again, trying to remain quiet as he rises. He doesn’t see his saber...

Hers had been a staff, with two blades.   
She probably had his.

”why did you bring him here? He isn’t ready to listen, warning them of what you did may not change their paths... or his ...just delay. If the emperor is hiding away and pulling strings, we are all in danger... I thought my father killed him. He died protecting me...” Luke questioned. “And Ben... Kylo Ren... His saber screams it’s pain. His first task to move forward would be to set it free...”

”he needed to be here.” She sounded so certain. Kylo found it admirable... and irritating. “It was here we first... connected through our force bond, where he comforted my fears and I truly saw him.”

Saw him?!

”You overreacted when you saw us touch hands through the bond... he told me right before you stormed in that I wasn’t alone, I told him he wasn’t alone...” she half laughed. “I was never alone again, he hadn’t lied really... I went to him. So angry about your sin. So sure... he betrayed me to Snoke, but when his master tried to make him kill me, he killed him. We fought his guards side by side. But, he offered to rule together... wouldn’t stop the assault on his mother. It doesn’t matter now, that particular battle won’t happen. He was so hurt... I hurt him by not saying yes then. He razed the universe after... you died... Leia trained me... so many kept dying... suffering... he became cold. And then, he kept reaching out, trying to make me see power as the answer. I almost killed him... Ben Solo came home in the end. Charging in with just a blaster like Han... fighting his own men to come to my side to face my grandfather. I love him so much Luke... all of him... we only had moments... one kiss...” sobbing, she quaked energy out from her like a wave. An open wound bleeding...

Kylo stumbled as it broke over him.

”you do... I see it. But, this is a new timeline because of your choices, you changed ‘this Rey’ and basically highjacked this man... wanting him to be your Ben. Is that fair?” Luke spoke softly, condescension absent.   
  
Kylo couldn’t remember his uncle ever offering such to him.

”I will let him leave if he really wants it... I just know the force moves here, I wanted to talk to him... show him. So maybe, ...he doesn’t have to be alone.” She stood, Kylo could hear and feel her moving toward the hut he was sheltered in. 

  
He sensed Luke walking away.

”you’re awake?” She stated nervously.

He nodded, “yes... I heard all of ...that.”

”I see...” Rey replied

”my saber?” He requested.

”Come with me and I’ll give it back.” She motioned back toward the doorway. “And don’t kill me... please.”

Something about her saying ‘please’ made him want to oblige, made him forget his urge to rage after his uncle.   
  


Silently, he followed.


	6. Soften hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo followed her reluctantly. He assumed his face off with his uncle was being postponed. Her body language showed no signs of fear or hesitation in his presence as they hiked. Her light beckoning him further.

They stopped near a cave.

He could sense the force from within, the dark side was so strong almost choking thick.

”this cave is where I thought I’d find the answers about my parents, see my parents.” Rey looked away from him. “All I saw was myself... and a shadow that resembled you.”

Kylo wasn’t sure how to reply, he recalled the memory she’d shoved into him of her time here. This cave. Her tears after... their...

Ah yes... their touching.

Hands that met, over galaxies... impossible. And her tears.

His other self had felt things in that memory ...for her. And the girl’s emotions had been pure chaos! Then Luke had blown it all to hell!   
  


Kylo sighed. “I’m not him you realize... My uncle wasn’t full of shit when he told you that. I am aware of these memories you made me see, but they aren’t mine.”   
  


Rey offered him back his saber.   
  


He took it from her.

”then kill me Kylo, I won’t even stop you.” She dared him.   
  


He saw something truly dangerous in her eyes he just couldn’t name. “perhaps not quite yet. How are you here like this? From what you’ve told him... shouldn’t all this kill you?”

Rey nodded. “Probably should have. But, you gave me something when you brought me back. The Jedi spirits and force gave me even more... it’s so strange and intense, but when I kept reaching for my Ben within the World Between Worlds, time allowed me to touch it a bit. Tug at it’s strings. My real body is there, safe. My spirit is joined with hers here in this time. The bond has been created between us still now, but I altered it by coming here like this. It wasn’t able to be created the original way. It’s actually stronger since Ben and I had gotten so close by the end...”

Kylo watched her carefully. “You really did love him...”

Rey laughed. “I did, do... but, I really hated him at first... you terrified me for so long. Because I couldn’t make myself not care about you. I couldn’t tell anyone about our connection... still your mother knew. But, no one else could have understood without seeing me as a traitor, you were still destroying and conquering...” She wiped away stray tears.

”My Master is only a puppet to another master?” He asked.

”yes, my grandfather. Emperor Palpatine was supposed to be dead by your grandfather’s hand saving Luke. But, he’s not. There’s a great evil hidden out there with him. He wants to use me, you, to destroy us all. I stopped him... because of Ben, but it drained me. Ben gave his life for just a moment in my arms...” Rey continued.

Kylo couldn’t understand how to digest it all. He wanted to dismiss it.

But, it made sense.

Snoke was a puppet, powerful true... poison. But, the voice in his head was Palpatine not Vader! That truth was difficult to swallow.   
  


“I somehow don’t think your Ben thought twice about it...” Kylo stated. “If I really became him somehow, I tend to be impulsive... jump instead of thinking through anything. Passions drive the dark side, rage... hate...”

”the calm I saw in those moments was priceless...” Rey sighed. “Anyway, I know you are not him technically yet, but, you still have to face Snoke and my grandfather. Thankfully, you can choose to not face them alone this time.”   
  


Kylo glared at the horizon.

She expected him to play nice with everyone... just like that?!

Mommy...

daddy...

the enemy...

And what of General Hux? Had he turned traitor based on her message as well? He apparently became a traitor in a future timeline? But that was out of hate for Kylo Ren as the Supreme Leader? What would motivate him now?

He glanced at the cave mouth one last time.

He felt their bond hum.

The girl in his head.   
  
  


He really should just kill her...


	7. Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He couldn’t stomach it. His saber felt false in his hand. What had his uncle meant...?

Kylo was surprised by her distance over the next few days.

She left him to train before dawn. Silent and focused. It was beautiful to watch as she moved, like some melody lost to him.

His uncle even joined her the third day.

Kylo still desired his head on a pike... perhaps tomorrow. His shame seemed so genuine. His self solitary life... was technically a punishment.   
  


Rey almost danced as she spun.

It was mesmerizing...

Was this how he felt watching her move? Her Ben...?

Kylo felt his master clawing at his mind, but each time her light shoved the darkness back. It screamed at her touch?! What did that mean?

He was at war within himself. 

On the fourth day he stripped down to his basic garb, and added himself to their line. The training was familiar after all... he had learned the same. Conditioning was important, strength and intuition.

Stamina.

And by god did she had stamina...

Kylo’s chest heaved after hours mimicking and adding to his former teacher’s examples. He was soaked by sweat. But her..., Rey was not even out of breath! How?! In her memories she was full of unbalanced rage and uncontrolled slips of power?!

”your thoughts are so loud...” she teased. “Your walls are flimsy to me now. It’s so strange, I learned how to center, quiet myself and find control after losing him... you need to figure out how. Minus the loss.”

”this dyad, it utilizes light and dark sides of the force...?” He questioned.

”there is only the force Kylo, close your eyes and listen to it within everything. You are so much more powerful than Snoke ever allowed you to believe, per my grandfather’s wishes. Feel it within, without, all...” Rey smiled, closing her eyes.   
  


Kylo could hear it...

”you wanted to take his hand, would you take mine if it meant saving them all?” Kylo probed.

Rey sighed. “You’re still not seeing beyond your quest for entitlement. You are meant for more than ruling over others...”

Kylo scoffed, stomping off in the direction Luke had already retreated into.


	8. Blown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General Hux was still beyond perturbed that his prized weapon was destroyed, he was however thankful he and his troops were evacuated. The warning came from an unexpected source, yet... the source knew things. No one knew those things... he’d dispatched his adversaries easily. His knowledge of their treachery within his First Order unacceptable. The Supreme Leader seemed displeased by these developments. Armitage wondered if it was true that Kylo Ren was dead... or turned traitor. Technically hadn’t he also to some extent? A conversation was overdue, especially if they were to overthrow Snoke... deal with this shadow emperor who was supposed to be long dead. Why had the scavenger warned her enemy? How had she known anything of consequence? Why had Poe Dameron assisted in their evacuation before Starkiller blew? Armitage had much to consider...

Leia let her ex-husband pull her to his chest. It felt familiar, it felt good.

”I never should have sent him away to Luke... it’s when I lost him, when I lost you...” Leia sighed.

Regret heavy in the air.

”He had too much Vader in him... but maybe, we can still reach him together. She says he felt abandoned by us. He just needs to know we haven’t given up on him... on our son.” Han held her, petting her hair. He kissed her head. “I will always love you princess, you and my son.”

“I know...” Leia replied, comforted.

“Who is she to know what she knew? To make us ...the First Order listen?” Leia asked.

Han shrugged. “Finn said she was just a young girl, an orphan scavenger from Jakku. But, on Tokodana she changed... seemed to become someone else, he said it was like someone else lived behind her eyes. That girl coaxed our son to pull out of the battle, leave. Poe says she warned your people about how to destroy Starkiller, she got General Hux to evacuate without firing a shot at your people. She knew exactly what to tell everyone to convince them... she convinced you.”

”she knew things Han, about Ben...” Leia chokes back tears. “She is so strong with the force. They are linked, I felt it. She’s taken him to Luke... to make him see. To make them both see... I hate what Luke did to our son in his moment of weakness, I would never have pushed him away if I’d know what Snoke was doing to our boy, ...what demons were preying on his mind.”

”we’re human, mistakes were made. Now we fix them... we love him. Now we show him.” Han stated with purpose. “He’s not facing this shit alone again.”

Leia smiled. “Thankyou...”

Kylo glared at his uncle. “You still feel you were right...”

”yes and no... mostly no now.” Luke replied. “Snoke wanted you to believe Ben Solo was dead, I saw what atrocities you were capable of under his guidance in your mind. He wanted you to kill your father to cleanse your soul of your humanity... just as destroying my temple was to do. Life to dim your light in the force, sink you further into the dark side... fracture you. Your mother has never lost hope or her love for you, neither has Han. Even in my shame I knew you were like my father... not completely gone. Rey has reminded me how much I have hidden from... I owe you an apology nephew. I owe your mother even more...”

Kylo snarled. 

His red saber screaming toward Luke. “Apologize?!”

Luke didn’t bother to block him, resigned to allow Ben his revenge if it gave his nephew peace.

”enough...” Rey froze them both. “Kylo, you need to learn to hear what others say.”

Kylo grumbled, but conceded. “Uncle...” 

Rey watched him disappear in the distance. How would she calm the storms within this man. He was so lost... 

“he hears every word.” Luke declared. “Skywalkers are a stubborn bloodline. But, fiercely loyal and passionate. You’ve gotten his hear... just be patient, prove you’re not going anywhere.”

Rey nodded.

She went to the end of the high cliff to see the sun setting. 

Kylo couldn’t push her away. 

He didn’t scare her.

She’s seen his worst. 

Fuck him and his tantrums...Darth baby.

Ben’s smile was worth worth waiting for.


	9. No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Apologies do not constitute an excuse for a lifetime of pain... I didn’t murder children like my grandfather! I was a fucking child! I was suffocating... drowning in the darkness that you and my parents were too selfish to recognize!” Kylo threw at Luke. “None of you are simply walking back in just because she decides you should get to.”

Luke didn’t press closer. “I see your anger, it’s understandable. I’m leaving the island, Rey thinks you need time here. I’m going to my sister. It’s time I got my head out of my ass and ceased my sulking, I have much to atone for. I’d rather it not take watching you raze the universe.., or all of us dying to accomplish it. The girl is right.” 

  
“I... tell them I am not ready to see them. I don’t know how I feel about any of this yet.” Kylo glared at the oncoming storm in the distance. “I can’t promise I won’t kill you if you stay either...”

”the force is trying to reach you through her, your mind is yours for the first time since you were a baby.” Luke shocked Kylo by levitating his old sunken ship from the crashing depths. It was bittersweet to watch him leave. “May the force be with you and guide you nephew...listen to the spirits, ask them why they’ve sent her to you this way.”

Kylo was relieved as the ship disappeared.

But now...

It was just them?

His mind was full despite it’s quiet state. So much chaos... anger... hurt... confusion... interest...?

Because she did invoke his interest.

She’d come through time for Ben?

For him?

Ben’s hand...

Not Kylo’s hand...

Yet, her memories held images of her going to Kylo? Reaching for Kylo Ren? Trying for his redemption? Of course he’d betrayed that trust... caused a year’s worth of chase and further war apparently?

He sighed.

Who was he now?

At this moment?

He roared. His anger causing the earth around him to shake even as the storm began. He raised his face into the pouring rain wishing it could wash away all the death and sin. Hand him easy answers. Thunder boomed and lightning kissed across the vast skies.

He was here.

He was here with her.

He was and wasn’t ready for anything beyond that. She owed him more answers...

He wanted to look into her mind deeper.

He wanted to touch and explore her force energy a bit more... it called to his. This dyad as she called it, it meant two as one?

How had his future self just ran into the fires for her?!

Turned on all he’d thought was vital?!

On the power?!

Why had she saved him?! He saw her tears... again and again?   
  


For the monster?!

Kylo made his way to the hut he felt her signature in. She merely tossed him something to dry his face, and motioned to the food she’d cooked when he entered. Rey didn’t seem surprised Luke was absent.

Kylo warily ate, quietly seething.   
  


They slept facing each other on either side of the small fire.

What was he doing...?


	10. Decade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A decade at least younger, he was at least that much her senior he knew. It was obvious. But, as she dreamed, she appeared younger still. Innocence worn like a halo, an aura that drew in his hungry shadows. Did he ever seem as such? Kylo felt the vast quiet in his mind. It was so ... hollow and so... empty. Echoing farther out than he thought possible. He could sense them. All of them. That was... new, different. The flickers. The force sensitives spread out on other planets, varied power levels. None blazed like the girl inches from him. A warm burning sun. He could even sense when Luke made it to his mother... felt Leia’s relief. Luke’s guilt. Kylo wondered how that little chat progressed. He wasn’t feeling his master anymore... curious. “What are you dreaming... you got me here now? What if I’m all you find? What if your Ben doesn’t decide to come out to play?” Kylo muttered toward the slumbering figure.

Rey plaited her hair to the side.   
  


She ignited her saber staff before stepping into her first form beginning her routine.

Bright yellow beams shooting from each end. She sometimes used only one end, sometimes both. 

Guardian.

The humidity was already higher after the night’s storm, so she wore simply her chest band tight and leggings to be cooler. 

Free to move.

She’d slept well for the first time since watching Ben fade from her vision. Her dreams of his smile and the bliss of his taste, his kiss. Lulling happily, sadly.  
  


Rey felt contemplative.

She wished...

It didn’t matter.

Why had his grandfather Anakin and grandmother Padma gotten to marry ...to love each other? Yes it was in secret, but they had enjoyed such passionate times... true a tragic end too. He’d been willing to do anything to save her! Sad and beautiful... Rey envied that they had at least had longer in each other’s arms. Created children, had hoped for a future. He was the demon most compared Kylo Ren to... a true Sith. But hadn’t he also loved his son in the end? His turn to darkness was from grief? From rage at loss?

Rey sighed, pivoting.

Ben’s mother had found her scoundrel Han Solo. Rey liked Han despite his tendencies.

Leia and Han again had at least gotten to marry, have a child, and attempt a life together... their demise because of bad choices made. Those choices they paid for dearly... their son had paid for, along with the galaxy. But, again they had felt love, had know more than a moment of love.

Luke had simply fled attachments. He’d seen the the fear in his nephew’s eyes, watched Snoke’s men destroy his dreams... steal his sister’s child. He ran away instead of fighting for Ben.   
  


How would that have gone?

Even if they had died?

If he’d fought for Ben? If they’d just kept fighting to free him?!

  
Ben wouldn’t have been seduced by darkness in his imagined abandonment, he thought no one had loved him?! Wanted him?! He’d embraced the new name and role to become what they believed he was! His choice made for him once again...

He’d seen potential in her. The loneliness. He just wanted someone to get it... he’d seen her pain mirroring his own.

Rey felt a tear slide down her cheek.

Sweat slicked her skin as she continued to leap and twist, grunting as she attacked the air as if it were a deadly army.

Attack...

She’d done that. 

Impulse... over and over fighting him. So angry at him for not listening! For resenting them! For hating them!Failing Luke! Failing Leia! Until she knew why, Leia wasn’t even angry at him anymore... she just wanted him to feel he was loved before she let go.

He had.

He finally found peace in himself at the end.

At the edge of the galaxy he’d ran to Rey and shown her he was loved ...heard it. That he had finally forgiven them... and himself. That he wanted ...needed more than the power that held empty promises. 

His eyes, his mouth told her.

His kiss.

Their moments.

Too short...

Not enough...

Why didn’t Ben Solo get more?!

Why were the Skywalkers cursed to tragedy and sorrow?!

Why didn’t the Jedi spirits give their strength to them both?! Why couldn’t she go with him as his force energy left ?!

Rey screamed at the horror and unfairness of it. 

Slicing through stone. 

She felt him watching her from the huts.  
  


She needed him to trust her. She needed him to heal his saber and heart. Ben was listening, she was sure of it. Her energy reached for his like it wanted to envelop him, hold him tight to her. 

Burn together and ignite.

So much...

_Be with me... Be with me... Be with me..._


	11. Glow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knew, she knew, he was there.

“Why didn’t you keep her saber... or his for that matter? I saw the image? You held them both? Leia’s and Luke’s... and just buried them in sand?” Kylo questioned.

Rey wiped her brow, guzzled some water. She eyed him carefully. “I wasn’t a Jedi in the end... I wasn’t a Sith... a chose something different. I decided to be a guardian of the force not a pusher for either side in some ways. More of a grey maybe? A mixture... I saw so much more clearly once I decided that. I felt more energy surge through me. I hear and see so much now...”

”He threw his saber away...? Your Ben?” Kylo stated.

”he did... a symbolic gesture, I believe, when he let forgiveness into his heart.” She sighed. “For himself... as he let the guilt go for killing his father. It’s the lesson Luke feels I’ve robbed you of... it was something that tore his soul to shreds. And when he was supposed to kill his mother, your mother... he chose not to.”

Kylo actually laughed loudly. “Only my dear uncle would feel you robbed me of patricide. Really? What the fuck?!” Kylo sensed a need to shift. Uncomfortable. “That saber staff you created is interesting though, strong and you wield it well.”  
  


Rey gave him a genuine grin.

Her eyes lit up. “Thankyou. On Jakku it was my weapon of choice, so adding the light show seemed fitting. Yours is very much in pain you know, something I’ve learned. You have an opportunity now in this timeline to heal your kyber crystal, I’ll help you. A monk taught me how before this little journey I embarked on.”

Kylo growled. “You are always full of opinions. He didn’t just jump every time you told him too... why do you expect me to?!”

Rey smirked. “Because I believe you don’t want to wait nearly as long as he did to be without a master.” When she was almost nose to nose with him she noticed his muscles tense. “He had moments of free will in an entire lifetime Kylo Ren... don’t you crave more? Don’t you desire power over your own existence? The chance to alter what the emperor deemed to be your damned fate? Always a servant to bow and bend the knee... never to be knelt to? If I knelt in front of you now, would you feel empowered enough to face your fear and be your own man for the first time?!”

He stared into her hazel pools lost for he felt like years, but he was aware it had to be mere seconds as his fists both clenched. “He didn’t want you to kneel... he wanted you as his equal if I recall.”

The air thick as neither backed down.   
  


Kylo grunted, “you’ve shoved his life into my head... and your memories into my head... do you feel that is any less controlling?!”

Rey nodded, starting to back away.   
  
Kylo wasn’t sure why, but on impulse he gripped her arms and yanked her back closer. Smashing them together. Lips crashing, Rey shocked.

Kylo shocked himself.

Hadn’t he just been fucking pissed at this girl?

Why the fuck was he kissing her?!

Just as quickly he shoved her away, and disappeared from her presence like he seemed to prefer to do.

Rey chuckled, touching her now bruised lips. “Well then...” she muttered.

That was most definitely not like the sweet kiss her Ben gave her...


	12. Melt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not sweet... no, definitely not sweet. Kylo couldn’t explain the urge. The action he’d taken. It was... overwhelming. Here was this stranger who makes him see all these things... a version of himself. He feels the tangible emotions of that man?! But, those emotions are not his... her mouth wasn’t his to kiss. He had almost mauled her like the kiss itself was a punishment he was trying to inflict for causing all this... turmoil!

He quieted himself.

He needed ...something?

The saber that had been thrown into a watery grave... by that Ben... had it felt peace ? Had it suffered ?

Why does he care?

He glanced at the metallic extension of his new self in his palm. His red vicious blade was the physical proof of his darkness, his rage and hate. She wasn’t wrong about it’s pain...

”do you forgive me...?” He muttered.

He wasn’t him!

Damn it!

The two paths of memories crisscrossed in his head... but then the ones uncharted seemed fuzzy now. Had her arrival changed her Ben’s eventual redemption?

Was his knowing now erasing the man the girl seemed to love so much that she’d been willing to tear time apart to see him again?!

Kylo groaned. This was all just ridiculous.

He laid his saber on the cold stone. 

Concentrating, he visualized the tiny pieces moving... separating... the cracked crystal floating up into his hand. The bled crystal cried for relief. He’d been ignoring it’s whimpering so long... the voice was weak. But, the connection was there. He’d forced it’s submission.

”if it’s possible to heal you... will you leave me?” He asked. The force could choose to abandon him if he abused it enough... it required balance. So why had the emperor been able to violate it’s vast energy so brutally... how could his minions?!  
  


Warmth filled his core.

He couldn’t recall such a feeling. Gasping, his heart racing. He felt tears slip from eyes he thought incapable.   
  


In his palm light circled. It was listening?! Energy within the force seemed to be coming from all around him... the hiss and crackle deafening. He couldn’t see.   
  


Was he blind?

But as his vision cleared he felt the warmth recede. He saw now his kyber crystal was whole, it was happy. Throbbing with joy. It was surreal. It was ...singing? The force swirling, dancing. 

Had he really...?   
  


But his master said...?!

Was she right?! Was this real?!   
  


“Am I still... Ben?” Kylo clutched the crystal for along time before reassembling his saber, making alternations as he could.   
  


He shook slightly as he stood.   
  


Gripped the handle.

As the beam shot forth, Kylo truly was shocked.

Bright... bright... blue.

His wide eyes filled with slight awe, before they found encouragement from a pair of lovely hazel ones observing him.

She smiled. He wanted to taste that smile...  
  


Without a word, she ignited her own.   
  


They began simple. 


	13. So blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were not really discussing the change between them, the motions simply took place. They woke, they sparred, they trekked, they ate, they bathed, they separated ...they repeated the routine. It was as if nothing beyond the island existed, as if what came before never happened. Kylo felt like his touch molested this new blade he held, he felt unworthy... but she never acknowledged it when he winced. She never hesitated when he neared. He couldn’t fathom why. But, he appreciated each breath she took like a new day dawning. Like a small miracle he witnessed.

“So Rey isn’t our Rey?” Finn still didn’t understand, he refused to wrap his head around it.   
  


Poe shook his head, drank his beer. “As Leia explained it, no. This future version kinda took her body over. This girl is more powerful in the force... was close with Ren, well a different version of Ren... it’s all kinda fucked. I don’t really know what to think myself.”

”she was just a kid man, barely knew anything about the universe after being stuck on that dust rock waiting for her family. She doesn’t deserve to lose her life to someone else. Even if it’s supposedly herself...” Finn stated scowling. He’d been furious when Luke Skywalker arrived on base alone, he didn’t understand why the General wasn’t concerned.

Kylo Ren was evil! The plague of the galaxy!   
  


“you have to trust the General... she trusts her brother, she believes Rey is on our side. I mean, hell... General Hux helped us! The first Order split away from their Supreme Leader. That says something, shit’s shifting... Ren may not be who we think either anymore. All this is up in the air now.” Poe motioned his hands.   
  
Finn snorted, shaking clenched fists.   
  


Instead of responding, he left Poe in the cargo bay. He wished he was more certain, had faith. Maybe he was just a coward in the face of so many unknown possibilities.

Finn grumbled all the way back to his quarters.

How could they possibly defeat this enemy that was supposedly worse that Snoke... an enemy who could decide to creep out whenever he fucking felt like it to destroy them all on a whim?!   
  
There was a strange truce at the moment...

How was Ren the answer to that?!

Finn just wasn’t sure...

He would feel slightly better if he saw her, could talk to this new Rey. Maybe understand.

Was the girl she was trapped inside?

The base buzzed with speculation of what would happen when Rey brought him to the General. 

Rey wanted General Organa, General Hux, and Kylo Ren to sit together to discuss invading Exegol. That detail wasn’t common knowledge though... Finn only knew because of Poe.   
  
Would they survive?

Finn collapsed on his cot, from sheer exhaustion. He fell asleep worrying about his short lived friendship... if this version of her would care about him when they did arrive?


	14. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey had never been able to run fast enough... he’d always found her. Either through their bond or because of his vast resources. It had exhausted her mentally... physically... spiritually... some nights, she’d simply been defeated. Crying out in frustration and fear, grief and ache... even in those blindly furious moments, Rey loved him. Though, her denial had been thickly veiling. Her friends so sure she wanted him dead... sometimes, she could almost convince herself. But... Kylo Ren had seen through it. He saw into her true heart. And now, once again, she tried to deny that vulnerability. He wasn’t Ben yet... but, this was someone pulling her in fiercely. His pain and fire spoke to her own. Wasn’t this why she came...? Wasn’t this what she wanted...?

She knocked him on his ass again and again.

It amused her.

It infuriated him.

”how are you this powerful?!” He blanched, dusting himself off.

She offered her hand. “I told you, you saw as well... in our future our connection grew. We were a dyad in the force. After my awakening, after our force bond was created, our powers just kept magnifying. Separately... then, every time we were close, they evolved. We were really not two, but one. Two sides of the same coin. Magnets drawn... Dark and light to face any ...all foes who dared come. Unfortunately, we were also stubborn. We didn’t see that until the moments before we lost each other. The emperor requested you to kill me at first, to take your place...”

” I saw that...” he replied.

”But, when I arrived, he instructed me to sacrifice him and take my place as a Sith ... to rule.” She cocked her head. “Ben came charging in, no longer seeking the universe or power... just me. My grandfather sensed the change within us, wanted it for himself... began to drain our energy.”

Kylo nodded. He recalled the images. They were stark and nightmarish. “You faced him anyway... that’s what killed you. The Jedi spirits ignored a Skywalker and came to you to defeat Palpatine. But, the effort still left your core empty...”

He could still see the haunted expression held by eyes that looked like his own, the shaking form holding this girl’s empty husk. That man had been willing to give anything for a second of light in her eyes again... a flicker. Just a moment to see her smile. That man more than loved her.

”yes... My grandfather has to realize something is wrong in this timeframe. He can’t reach you. His minion Snoke can’t... General Hux and the First Order have stepped back, the Resistance is unusually quiet now after Starkiller base was destroyed. He probably doesn’t care much, he sees us all as nothing... as bugs to be squashed.” Rey stated.

Kylo often felt that sentiment. His master rarely made him feel good about anything, no matter how much he gave... he’d sacrificed everything to the dark side. Apparently that was never enough... now, he was slightly glad not to have cut down Han yet. Slightly...

”that won’t last, Snoke will request help dealing with Hux’s mutiny... you said the emperor has ships capable of destroying worlds like Starkiller base did? That’s worse. The emperor could send them out at whim, he has no reason to wait. If he hasn’t yet it’s because he doesn’t see any of us as a threat yet.” Kylo pointed out.

Rey agreed. “He is arrogant, he sees no one as more. Anakin shocked him by defending Luke in the past... our defending each other did too, though he laughed at us. Told us it was our doom. Ben and I fought anyway. We were tired of bending I suppose...”

Kylo definitely could agree with that.

”these conversations mix and confuse me. I see all of it, and it mixes with my own thoughts now. I toss it all around as we talk and spar. What do you really want from me Rey...? Are you hoping I’ll love you like he did? Or that I can be you substitute?” Kylo directed the question as they walked back to huts for dinner.

She sighed. “I wish I could lie to you, but our bond would give me away if I tried to... maybe? I miss him... I look at you and I see his eyes, his lips, his hands, his pain, ...is it wrong that I wish you could realize what it took so long for him to realize? You are not alone Kylo... I care about you too. Not just the ghost of who you could be.”

Rey turned and before he could stop her, she hugged him. She didn’t push for more.

The bond hummed.

Power crackled from fingertips to even the air around them.   
  
Kylo was stiff at first, but allowed it, holding her tighter himself relishing her warmth. He could hear her heartbeat, smirking at the speed he instigated. Inspiration.

It felt good.

Care.

Want.

He wanted this... sensation.


	15. Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their conversation still haunted his temples. He rubbed his muddled thoughts away. His body was oddly stiff as he woke. Sore. She was never gentle with him as they sparred. He smirked. He actually really liked that fact. Everything about her inspired respect... irritation... frustration... he didn’t like feeling like an open wound. Bleeding out at her feet. But, that was what drew Ben in wasn’t it? He sacrificed himself for a moment... how can love be so pure? So integral... so visceral? He craved the ability to love and be loved. What was happening to him?

He needed to unlock what she had.

He needed that power.

If not, she would face the emperor with a stilted ally, not a weapon.

Ben would never allow that would he?

Kylo needed to meet her within. To join. To fully realize his own potential. Be more. She could help him. The bond was there... he could feel it like a live wire sparking within his cells, his veins.

He saw the awakening in her memory, their path was now very different, but wasn’t this better? Instead of trying and failing to kill the girl who was his counterpart, they understood what they were already? He could strengthen it and let it merge even more intricately! No one could stop him with such power!

He felt no need to crush her. His anger not as ready to burst. She had quieted the monstrosity living in his head, that had poisoned his entire life. He owed her...

They needed to be able to shield themselves from the emperor. He had to be prevented from taking their energy like he’d seen in those last memories.

Or... her future would still play out here in the past... one or both of them would still die.

Kylo wasn’t sure about every single thing, but the one he was utterly certain of was Rey had to live.

She had to...

He... he needed her to. For Ben, for himself. Maybe...

It was such a foreign emotion.

He could! He could kill that bastard who caused his grandfathers madness... ultimately his death! His grandmother’s broken heart... his mother’s drive to save the galaxy and neglect her child... his uncle’s fear of Ben’s force and future... his being so alone and full of rage his whole existence!

The rot needed to be cut away, burned, forgotten.

Rey needed her Sith... and her Jedi...

Kylo found solace in that.

He sought her out.

”I’m ready... I will let you into my mind, we will learn from your previous mistakes and the emperor won’t drain us this time.” Kylo declared, Rey saw the determination in his eyes.   
  


She was relieved.   
  


She was ready too!


	16. Unify

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey blinked. Nodded. He looked ready... she motioned, he followed. She didn’t feel the same thick rage rolling off his core, she felt... something else. They sat across from one another. The fire blazing between them gave her potent deja ‘vu. No one would interrupt this time.

Her sight fixed on his.   
  


His breathing calm, jaw set.   
  


“we’re going to touch palms, just barely. When you sense me slipping into your mind, let me... I will let you too. Trust me... be with me...” Rey stated.

Kylo sighed, anxiety creeping up his throat. “I will...”

As they each reached out to each other with one hand, the energy in the hut shifted. 

The fire crackled.

The wind outside picked up.

Rey’s heart beat so loudly she was sure it echoed into his.   
  


As their palms pushed against the other, the room vanished. Total blackness took over. Sound seemed to be cease. The smell of smoke and the heat from the fire were gone.

Neither spoke a word.

Lost in feeling.

Lost in floating nothingness.

For a moment, blinding light scoured their bodies.

Kylo knew her walls were down completely, he felt exposed with his gone. But, trust... he needed to trust. He was blown away that she was absolutely trusting him.

Warmth swept into his gut, his chest, and gripped.   
  


He opened his eyes to see three figures. Just beyond Rey, stood Ben as a child no more than 10... Kylo as a knight of Ren with his red saber... and Ben as an older version who looked similar to Han in his opinion. Blaster in hand, bruised and bleeding face, ragged clothes, and sweaty hair askew.   
  


Rey hadn’t budged.

She glowed with energy swirling along her tan skin. Eyes full of bright white light. 

He groaned at the three figures staring at him. 

“you must forgive yourself to truly let us join... you hate yourself more than you do anyone.” Rey gave him a concerned smile. “You’ve always held firm to your hate... let it control you. It gave Snoke... the emperor... the darkness, control of over your power. The force needs unification between your light and your dark... for that you just trust not just me, but yourself.“

“Trust yourself enough to forgive the boy who shut himself off and ran away from the hurt he felt...“

“Forgive the man who committed so many sins, who drowned himself in resentment... anger... revenge...”

“Forgive the man who coveted my force energy, who wanted me. Obsessed... possessed... lusted...”

“Embrace the man who loved...”

“mourned...”

“sacrificed...” Rey continued.

Kylo glanced from the boy to the men. Seeking their council, wanting their acceptance.

Pulsing ripped him from deep concentration. The power radiating between them was choking him. He sputtered and coughed.   
  


He reached out with his other hand toward the versions of himself.

The boy let tears slide down his cheeks as he reached back, disappearing.

The second figure let his saber cease its torment, unclenching his fist to disappear as he reached out.

The third, Ben’s image grief stricken, smiled suddenly and reached. He disappeared as like the other two.

Kylo felt relief. Raw.   
  


He felt whole, lighter and certain.

Rey watched as his skin glowed like hers, his eyes filling with a similar white light.

Voices circling.

A thousand voices, a thousand spirits hugged them close. They felt the pride from the force, felt loved and so uplifted. Their voices lived within them, two halves made one. A dyad fusing.   
  


“oh... it is so beautiful Kylo.” Rey panted. Brow drenched. 

He grinned. “So beautiful...”

He had never known such solidarity, fearlessness.

”Ben... my name is Ben...” he managed before they both leaned forward and their lips locked.


	17. Locked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey examined his features when they re-emerged. The real world was thrashing and wailing beyond the hut. “Ben... you’re with me...” Her tears shimmering as she took in his soft eyes. Had they truly joined this time ? No wiggle room left for the emperor... for anything or anyone to infect this man... or her? Rey wanted to kiss his lips, not within their minds, but here and now. She needed to show him it meant more than power, that he was more to her.

Ben saw her mental gymnastics going on behind those hazel orbs, glassy with the tears he knew were for him.

They were one...

They were so much more than they understood yet...

He was aware enough to recognize his naivety.

He was not vain enough anymore to think his power would keep him satisfied now that his spirit mingled and danced within hers.

Pure energy... the force fueling dark and light flowed through two souls as one pulse as they desperately stared.

He dove forward taking her lips, tasting her hunger as her tongue stroked his welcome.  
  


Fire...

It was like burning from the inside... blissfully alive and in agony. Twisting emotions and sensations from it seemed like every direction assaulting his sight... his nose... his hearing... she was everywhere.

She was everything.  
  


The future Ben had only a moment to feel this ?!

Or did he at all?!

Ben found himself mourning for that version if he had died not knowing this exquisite death and rebirth within her arms, against her mouth, feeling her body along every inch of his own. 

Heart and lungs moments from exploding.

Rey kissed him like he held the last oxygen in the galaxy.

He knew he would have given her his last breath...

He and the Ben she had loved and come searching to save... now he knew, he was him.

He could love her...

fight at her side...

die for her...

”No regrets Rey...” Ben nuzzled and kissed along her jaw and neck. “We leave tomorrow, I need to face them all... we need to end the infection plaguing the galaxy...”

Rey sighed, moaned. “Mmm..., yes, tomorrow... but tonight, no more words... just feel Ben... don’t be scared, you’re not alone.”

”neither are you...” he replied lowly. His smile glowing.   
  
Rey held him to her tight.   
  


Tonight would be ferocious give and take...

It would leave scars and blood in it’s wake...

She was home.


	18. Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’s not in pain... he’s different, there’s more light there. I thought my son was gone... I’m guilty of that.” Leia admitted. She let Han pull her close. He held her. Words weren’t needed, they knew the why’s... they knew what hung unsaid... they knew he was coming home...

Ben knew he wasn’t awake yet, he felt that his arms still encircled around the heated form of the woman he’d bared his soul and body to all night.   
  


But he was also... somewhere else.

  
The landscape was cracked and dead.

So bleak, dull.

Foul.

He knew this place...

Evil lived here...

That voice lived here...

Lightning pierced the horizon, slicing to the ground at his feet. “She sought you out young Solo... altered your destination. Sooner than expected... but plans can be changed. You just need to come to me as you were meant to later on, take the mantle of your grandfather... what Luke was too much of a coward to take!”

Ben didn’t see the emperor, but he could feel him all around... the thick choking disgusting rage he recognized, that used to be his comforting embrace. That hate! That loneliness... that sorrow... that aching pain of solitude! Misunderstood! Rejected! Hated! Feared! Now, it just made him sneer. “She saved me... you ...raped my ...fucking mind...I thought it was my grandfather talking to me... guiding me...you corrupted him... me... you tried to do that to Luke! To Rey! To your granddaughter!” he stuttered.

Pain laced into every inch and organ it seemed, Ben fell to his knees.  
  


Rey...

Could she sense this?   
  


How could she not?!

She could be being blocked from him? He groaned.

His brow furrowed as he gripped the stone beneath trying to regain control of himself.

This was his damn mind!

Fuck him!

Fuck this bullshit!  
  


The cruel words were still spinning and winding into each brain cell, so loud... so deep... the blackness seeping in...

Ben screamed and yanked at his own hair, needing the sting, sweat dripping down his face. 

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” He was shaking.

The chamber around him, the stone underneath, quaking with his fury.

The haunting laughter just returned. Echoing in the vast abyss surrounding him. Ghosts of his shame and sins.

”So foolish... saved you? No dear boy... she’s doomed you sooner than before, stand together... die together... your dyad will only feed me!” Ben felt his heart lurch as if squeezed tight by an invisible hand.

No...

No!

”No...” Ben barely managed.

“No!” He forced out louder. 

He felt the grip release.

He pushed himself to stand finally.

”you have no power over me! You had no power over my father... my uncle... they chose something else! So do I!” Ben bellowed at the darkness that attempted to strangle him again, but it couldn’t touch his skin... it hissed when it tried.   
  


Ben woke in wrapped around Rey, his breathing heavy.

Tears filled his eyes.

His chest ached. 

His body felt battle weary.   
  


She looked undisturbed by his plight, his nightmare trekking. Perhaps she’d been made to ignore it...

He kissed her temple.   
  


He wouldn’t succumb... he couldn’t, he would face that darkness with her and be strong. He was different now. He knew it. They would join his family. He knew they would be stronger together. The resentment would have to be set aside for after... priorities.   
  


That was difficult to swallow.

”Ben...?” Mumbling disturbed him.

He shook his thoughts away, rubbed his sweaty brow. “We need to leave. It’s time. He knows... we need to go before he razes the galaxy.”

Rey nodded. Pulled him to her. 

She saw fear in his eyes, but also a hope. She needed him to retain that hope. In her, in his family, in them.

”welcome home kid...” Han smirked as his son scowled in his direction.   
  


Ben didn’t speak, unsure what would come out. He held Rey’s hand tighter.

Rey nodded toward Han, Poe, Finn, Dolpheld, and Phasma.   
  


Luke has decided to remain in the war room to wait for their arrival.

Leia could barely contain her emotions as she absorbed the view of the boy she’d lost walked toward them with Rey. She sensed the tenseness in the hanger. Everyone trigger happy. First Order and Resistance alike.

”General Organa... General Hux... I believe we have much to discuss, and unfortunately we have no time to relax or digress into a pissing contest... Or group therapy... so, Ben and I need to tell you what we can... and you each need to do the same. We need to discuss resources and manpower. The emperor won’t care what color you wore before now... he’ll kill us all equally.” Rey motioned for them to lead the way to where they’d be discussing their plans. “We are only all his enemies now.”


	19. Simmering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey rubbed his palm, her fingers gently stroking back and forth. Her energy reminding him he was not alone in this room filled with those he seemed traitors... those who abandoned... those who lied... those who tried to hurt him... in his mind, they were villains. He felt small surrounded by these people. He did not however feel helpless. The fire deep within wanted to purge and explode... it wanted blood and debts paid. Forgive and forget...? Fuck that! No... Rey felt the storm inside him quiet to a low growling hurricane, but she knew it was temporary. His father’s attempt at a humorous greeting hadn’t helped in the slightest. His mother’s tears hadn’t dulled his memories alone... and then Luke had not faced him again at all... deciding to leave the words they said on the island as their last. Rey knew that wasn’t what was needed, Luke would see that soon. They would all see it. Ben stiffened. She almost dragged him to their quarters for the night to rest. His family would just have to wait...

“I can’t Rey...!” Ben threw his boots across the room. “They sat there, as if it’s just normal!”

Rey nodded her head knowingly, slowly moving closer.   
  


Very aware.

The room electric with his anxiety. Items beginning to float from their designated spots.

”You are here, not for them... but for yourself, for me, for the galaxy. They made choices, as we all have... misguided by the puppeteer pulling our damn strings. We are not his toys any longer. Tell them how you feel, show them, then go forward. You are more than what they have done to you... what my grandfather has done to us.”

He turned sharply, taking in her face.

She was almost aglow with acceptance and love. But still filled with her own brand of righteous fury. He hungered for her nearness. “I... could kill them all... I feel it inside... ripping and eating away, the darkness wants to tear them limb from limb no differently than HIM...” he whispered into her shoulder as he wrapped himself around her, pulling her into his welcoming lap. “I want both sides of it... both are tugging... to listen and forgive them... to destroy and dominate...”

As he spoke she saw familiar flames flicker within his deep orbs. She kissed along his jaw. Caressing carefully along his neck and chest. “You need a shower... you need quiet... you need no one else in that angry head of yours tonight. Tell them off tomorrow.”   
  
Rey hopped up.

He scoffed, but let her guide him.   
  


Let her undress him and herself.

It was surreal watching the water dancing along her skin and his own, only hearing the sound of that calm. Of her breathing, of his contentment.

It was a relief.

A release.

The lathered bubbles were thick and smelled delicious. He let a groan escape as her hands thoroughly cleaned each part of him, scrubbing his scalp to his cock.

He delighted in doing the same to her.

They felt delicate like this, untouched by the life outside these walls.   
  


Reality was a vile cunt.

Not to be ignored however.

If the emperor underestimated them, his family definitely did... him. He could feel how much more force energy ran through his veins and spirit. His soul twined with hers, his mind and body felt so invincible. Were they truly immortal?   
  


The Jedi were behind them, but if his temper flared, would they abandon them?

Something inside told him no... there was closure to be had. He had his time coming.   
  


Ben found his father first ...tinkering, before he could say a word, he was reaching for his throat and rising into the air.   
  


“I believe there’s a debt you owe me father...” Ben squeezed, satisfied as the face before him turned lovely purple and the man’s feet jerked. Han’s memories twisting in a thousand directions as Ben searched them as painfully as possible.

He couldn’t hear his mother’s voice calling him from the doors.   
  
It wouldn’t have stopped him anyway.

  
He wanted answers.

The man in Rey’s future loved Ben... forgave every sin... sought forgiveness for his own sins... died willingly for his son.

He froze the soldiers who attempted to interfere. 

  
This man was selfish...

  
This man was afraid...

No one could get closer.

No one could touch them.

The ship Han been working on flew away hard into the wall and burst into flames.

”you were afraid of your son... afraid of what I could do... you let her throw me away to Luke! Then you ran away even from her! Fucking coward!” Ben roared. “You dared smirk at me when I arrived like I was gone for holiday, greet me with ‘kid’! Like you love me! You don’t throw away those you love! You don’t run away!”

Rey watched from behind Leia, she had no intention of stopping him.

He was no where near done...


	20. Wrath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia found herself moving forward... toward her son... toward her ex-husband. The entire hanger was thick with energy. “Ben...” she kept calling out, it came weak, but her words needed to bombard him none the less. He needed to hear her.

Rey didn’t stop Leia when she finally freed herself enough to move forward.   
  


Han’s features were deeper purple, but more potent was the shame he wore. His son wasn’t wrong... he was hurting... he was pissed... and he was right.   
  


Han sputtered what he hoped was heard to be an apology. But, he vaguely knew he was losing consciousness. 

“what was that old man?! Another jib before you die?!” Ben accused. He unceremoniously dropped him.   
  


Han choked as he tried to inhale solid breaths. “I... was apol... ogizing... not enough, ...but, I am... sorry... son... you know... I joke... at the... worst times... it’s a curse...” he rubbed his neck.

Leia knelt beside Han. She took his hand. “Ben, please...”

Ben glared down at them both.   
  


He felt Rey within his mind, reminding him she was still there... 

“we have done so much wrong in our lives, with good intentions...” Leia reflected. “All I’ve known my whole life was politics and war... I had no idea how to be a mother, though I tried. I shouldn’t have sent you to my brother... we should have sensed the parasite feeding on you even as a child. That is our fault. Our sins. You needed us. We gave more to everyone else... left you an easy target, an apology is never going to be enough... but, it doesn’t mean we don’t love you... wouldn’t die for you.“ tears glistening on her cheeks, she wanted so badly to stand and embrace her damaged boy, the broken man returned from years of self hate and death. The boy was still in his eyes.

Ben shuddered.   
  


All the ships in the hanger groaned with strain. Everyone stood wary as the sounds of metal ground. Would he crush them all?

Ben desired their pain...

He wanted their tears...

He saw their regret...  
  


He saw their submission...

If he were to attempt to kill them now, they’d accept it...

He felt a hand slip into his.   
  


“you don’t really want to destroy the ships...” Rey offered him a smile. “She is speaking truth, you saw the memories of what happened in my timeline... they both died gladly for you. They do love you. Flawed they are, but yours. As I am...”

Ben’s wrath seemed to lesson into a simmer. The sound of metal ceasing.   
  


He noticed Hux and Phasma, nodding, he walked away. Leaving Rey with his parents.   
  


She helped Leia get Han to the medical bay.

It wasn’t a fix, but Ben hadn’t killed them. They understood, he wasn’t ready for hugs and happy family reunions.   
  


“thank you Rey.” Leia said as Han drifted to sleep.

”I didn’t do anything, he makes his choices... just be there when he’s ready, don’t disappear again. Choose him.” Rey stated.


	21. Old dogs, rabid currs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben stomped off still fuming, he wasn’t even aware of his surroundings until he stopped.

“Welcome to my humble abode for the time being.” Mused Hux, offering Ben a seat.   
  
Phasma nodded towards the general, and made her exit.   
  


“Doph, go see if Dameron has any updates for us if you please...” Hux directed.

Once they were alone, the redhead turned his attention to his former competitor. “It’s quite a lot to absorb isn’t it... but, you did do this to us all, so there’s that...”

Ben scowled. “ how did I do this to you... to us all...?” His voice laced with contempt.

Hux merely smirked, “that darling little desert rat fell in love with your Sith side, decided to save his soul... he died for her apparently... she decided to travel through time... to save you... to save us all... so, I would say... this is most definitely... absolutely ...your fault Kylo Ren. No wait, it’s Ben Solo again isn’t it?”

”I am not technically him... he was a different timeline you insolent curr!” Ben wanted to toss him out of the nearest airlock. “in that timeline you were almost going to shoot him while he lay unconscious! You betrayed him and the Order to the Resistance! You are a traitor!”  
  


”well true and false, yes that ‘me’ did things apparently that would sound traitorous. I, however, don’t entirely loathe you at the moment. I have no interest in shooting you with my blaster or betraying anyone this round. Our esteemed master already betrayed us... fuck him. I have no wish to serve him or the emperor. General Organa and I have discussed the future, if we survive... the galaxy could truly thrive under our truce.” General Hux leaned back. “You seem less brooding you know, less angsty... you very much expressed yourself out there. Well, you still raged a bit... but for once, didn’t just kill them. The Jedi girl might be good for your dark soul. I can respect you for that.”

Ben was taken aback.

Armitage didn’t respect him... they clashed, constantly.

”I see the cogs turning there Sithling, we were at odds because he preferred us that way. We were stronger as a team against him had we ever realized it. So, competitiveness was used to keep us bouncing to and fro for his entertainment, and for the emperor as well it seems. I am not your enemy... any more than you are hers now. We cannot be. Here we no longer First Order or Resistance, we are simply fighting for survival together.” Hux offered his hand to Ben.   
  


Ben accepted his hand. “Who would have predicted...”

”A Jedi girl did I believe.” Hux teased, giving Ben a wink before motioning toward the alcohol he kept stashed in his temporary quarters. “Besides... we can kill each other another day.”

”how many came with you and Phasma?” Ben asked.

”more than those two expected I’m sure. Some did stay. But, their fleet is superior without additional support from other sources.... aid is coming. A man you know as Lando Calrissian is rounding up quite an interesting collection. Rey told us who and where to seek it from. The galaxy is behind us.” Hux seemed sure of himself in Ben’s opinion, no more the sniveling viper he typically encountered.   
  


“I didn’t kill them today, it doesn’t mean I’m not still incensed. You and I are also not suddenly best friends Hux.” Ben declared.

Hux chuckled. “Oh that is more than obvious Benjamin. But, won’t it be fun truly being on the same side for once, and not have ulterior motives to murder each other underlining our battle?”

”perhaps...” Ben finished his drink. He set down his glass. “I’m glad you’re here General... despite our history.”

As Ben made his way back to his quarters, he felt a strange surety.   
  


He trusted Hux’s words.

He believed in Rey.

He even felt like his parents wouldn’t vanish when they faced their enemy.

It was a new feeling not to wonder when the other shoe would drop.

He was not going to back down!

  
He was not a coward!

He was her Ben, he believed in himself!


	22. Corners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changes made

The ripples disturbed his sleep cycle. Rey’s shift through time. Emperor Palpatine had known the second she arrived into the body that wasn’t truly hers.

The chamber being tended to by his acolytes, awkward but necessary.  
  


Lord Snoke had neglected to deal with his apprentice properly. So easily taken...? Obsurd! 

Nor had he squashed his fair weather General Hux who had apparently run off with his fleet. A vast majority. To join up with the enemy?

The emperor sensed within the force the awakening of his granddaughter in a much different way than he’d expected and planned. His path for Vader’s grandson was not followed, he was with parents again! Why had his granddaughter guided him to them?! It did not serve his purposes.   
  


Her energy was altered...

“Young Solo was closing off his mind to his master? ...to the emperor? Rey was helping him? Pushing them out?” He ranted. 

“impossible?!” He yelled.

“He is mine!” Louder.

“As Anakin was mine!” Raging.

“Reports coming in of ships amassing... ridiculous. No match for my fleet. Sooner than planned. But no matter. These will destroy worlds.” He spoke to his second.  
  


“I’ve already increased production. Snoke may have outlived his usefulness...” he continued. 

The frightened, but loyal man nodded. 

“Rey’s betrayal must be cut out. Her twisting the time line and the force cannot be tolerated!” He fumed.


	23. Shaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey felt him stirring, his fingers finding hers in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my posting schedule has been sporadic, life is rather chaotic pretty much always for me. I apologize. I don’t outline or plan ahead so I also don’t add until my inspiration hits and time allows. Working on very different experiments at once has been wonderful for my mental health🥰📚 I’m enjoying it thoroughly. Caring for mom and my lil one keep me hopping lol

His large trembling form wrapped around her. Hot breath against her neck, disturbing her wild bed head hair.

“Ben? What’s wrong” Rey attempted to coax.   
  


He nuzzled into her warm skin, trying burrow... escape... hide. “He keeps trying to get back into my mind. Like he did on the island.”

Rey knew who ‘he’ was...

”well, he can’t, shhhhhh.... I’ve got you.” Held his head closer, kissed his hair. She pulled more. Focusing.

Pushing what shoving itself against his mental barriers away.

The wraith wasn’t pleased, it lashed out.

”he knows we’re coming... the bastard is scared. Good!” She declared.   
  


Ben let Rey guide him. 

They centered their energies together, shoving the wraith out hard. 

Rey hadn’t come all this way to lose him again... when they face her grandfather, she won’t hesitate this time even for a second. Ben’s mind wasn’t up for sale...

”it’s ok ... I think he’s gone.” She whispered.   
  


“I can’t go back to sharing my every thought with them... you are different... it feels right, I feel like it completes the circuit ? I don’t know...”. Ben muttered, sneaking his hands along her ribs.   
  


“I understand, like some puzzle... you had pieces missing and never realized it. I need you Ben... I won’t regret coming to find you here. You can face this.” She reassured him.

”he has rushed his plans because you altered his timetable by coming for me... he feels our joint force bond is stronger, a truer dyad than before.” He kissed along her stomach, down along her navel making her breath hitch.

”we are ready... it doesn’t matter” she moaned as he migrated lower. 


	24. Strange days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was still unreal for Rey to watch Ben prepare for war along side his father... Poe... and Hux... three men he’s hated, tried or succeeded in killing in another life, and now they face a common foe.

“You stare at him so hard you know.” Finn interrupted her pondering.

She smirked. “He almost killed you too you know, saber up your spine defending my honor...”

”sounds like me.” Finn replied grinning. “So we were closer then? You didn’t let us be as close this time.”

”I was more worried about saving him this time... but yes, we were friends. We are friends now. I just, I needed him to see them all differently this time... see me differently... sooner. I love him Finn. I watched him vanish. It hurt so much... too much. He was half of me. No one then could contemplate how that feels.” She let tears slip free.

And when he offered her his embrace, she took it. 

It was an odd sense of comfort. She knew friendship from him from before, but this him not as long. But, it still felt good.   
  


“I get it, he’s yours... we don’t have to understand why Rey. Trust me... I have someone like that myself. No one would get it.” He ducked his head a bit.

”who?” She prodded.

Finn laughed. “Nah, that’s for me. At least for now. If we live past this battle, everyone will see... it’s very unexpected and new. I was definitely not expecting it.”

He left. 

She continued watching Ben and Han. They were working diligently with a group. Poe and others were preparing ships.

All cohesive.

No friction. 

No hostility between previous enemies.

She adored the way his muscles tensed and glistened. It was a truly beautiful thing.

He would nod in her direction.

Grin.

She would clench her thighs. Her mind fill with his detailed dirty thoughts of what he’d rather be doing.   
  


He was insatiable now. But she did not mind, it only seemed to bring them closer. Their force energies mingling more as they joined. One being.

Hers.

His.

One.

  
Leia told them several planets were gone... just like like before, only this time, they were attacked at once. How had her grandfather gotten his demon fleet off the ground already?!

They were in the process of launching their own attack! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! They had the universe behind them this time! Hux and Leia were on the same side! Han and Ben were on the same side! Luke and Han were alive! Rey was beyond frustrated...

He wasn’t supposed to... 

Fucking Sith.

But, she’d come here... changed things.

Had she’d doomed them by coming?

The darkness was seeping and trying to make her question herself... she knew that. She had to come to help them... to help Ben. Her chest was caving in... she was burning... 

”Rey?” His voice cleared her vision, brought her out.   
  


His eyes were concerned. “You were practically screaming in my head? You were in pain... confused... I needed to soothe the burning you felt. It was ripping your core, the darkness feeding on your light... like me. Let me help you like you helped me.”

She ignored the hanger full of eyes now focusing on them.

Only him...

Only him...

His mouth speaking calmly.

His hands slowly stroking the back of her neck, and her right palm.

She felt the fires inside dousing.   
  


“Ben... how could you live like that every day for so long... it hurts so much...?” Her throat barely managing to allow the sound to escape.   
  
He smiled warmly.

Letting his forehead touch down to hers.

“I don’t know really, but now... since this... I can’t imagine feeling empty again. You are mine. Please don’t forget that... don’t get lost... not after coming all this way to save me.” Ben pulled her into his arms, crashing his lips over hers.

The darkness disappeared. 

Only heat remained.

Their energy flared. Light twirling within, souls delighting in this renewal.

”thankyou...” Rey sighed against his lips. 

The crowd went back to their tasks. 

It was time to leave... 


	25. War we go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hate is a power weapon, but so is love...

Rey felt them...

All the souls screaming and their deaths taking them. She knew Ben, Luke, Leia felt them as well. It tore through the force like cruel hell fire. No less potent than when Starkiller had been used in her previous timeline.   
  


Rey fumed.

Crackling lighting simmered under her skin desiring to burst forth.

”not yet Rey.” Ben attempted to ground her.   
  
They were headed in different directions, trying to cover the ships that they found out had already attacked. Most of the converging fleet was headed to the planet where Palpatine waited.

Rey had told them about the previous attack plans. They were approaching differently. Then again, this round was already very different anyway.

There were those present on this side that weren’t here last time...

Ben was arriving with her.   
  


They were stronger.

Palpatine knew.

He expected this.

He already caused so much death beyond his hiding place instigating Rey’s darkness.

He was taunting her, somehow she knew it was aimed at her.

Punishment for coming here.

Coming for Ben...

But how could she not come for him?!

For them all?!

Silent, frustrated angry tears slipped down her cheeks.

They landed roughly, even as the other ships desperately attempted to defend themselves.   
  
They could all die...

It could all fail...

No !!!

No !

No !

No!

Rey gathered herself. 

Let her eyes travel to the man she knew was just waiting for her to give him the signal. He held his saber, she held hers. They each also had hidden knives to reach for if needed, and blasters.   
  


Rey reached out...

Through their powers she could feel every brave soul fighting. She gave them her encouragement. 

A boost.

‘ _I believe in you... I believe in why we are here... if I die I for you today... I die proudly in victory loving you all!’_ Her words radiated into each heart, each mind. Reassuring.

Ben took her hand, they concentrated. Focusing on the transmitters controlling the ship’s shields fighting against the Resistance fleet... the good guys needed an advantage. At least something. A chance to knock out the guns... those deadly guns. Their shots need to count!

It was working.

Rey and Ben moved forward toward and down, their destination foreboding. Lighting and darkness playing against their minds. Tricking their eyes. 

“He’s not even worried... he is amused.” Ben groaned. 

Rey sighed. 

Her own shadows were almost choking her. Fighting to break out. The force lapping at the edges swirling all around every cell within her and Ben both. Their connection comforting torture. Ben loved her so completely... his mind held not a flicker of doubt... no fear.   
  


Just as his former self had charged like a dark knight to her rescue with only a blaster and sacrificed himself the first timeline... this him charged ahead with her. Open heart ready to burn for his sins. No idea how this would go.   
  


He did not care.

As long as this time he was at her side from minute one. 

All in.

”ah... my guests have arrived!” Palpatine greeted, grinning with an evil leer.


	26. Greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was almost a warm welcome...

Rey glanced to their left... right.

Just as in the previous timeline, the Knights of Ren circled. 

Only this time, it wasn’t just Ben they circled. Rey stood at his side from the start. Both with blades ready. Both with hearts pounding. No fear... just determined to change the damn course fate set.

Palpatine seemed amused.

At ease. 

“you look as if you wonder how much I know granddaughter... I know everything.” He declared with deep malice.

Rey’s lip curled. 

“Yes, you pushed me out of his mind. But... I saw what you saw as well. Your death, pathetic rebirth from his loving sacrifice. My... unfortunate fall. I saw. You came here hoping to twist his destiny sooner, tame his dark heart in your favor. Love will find a way... I saw it.” He grinned like a demon. “You didn’t recall how your own darkness tempted and taunted the first time around... how it has only grown since in this timeline. Your seduction of him here and now has only tainted your light further into the Sith you should have been.”

Rey flinched.   
  


No... he was lying...

She wasn’t tainted by Ben.

They made each other stronger!

”you’re wrong! We are more powerful than before! We understand and aren’t fighting it this time... only fighting you!” She stated with so much emotion it startled her for a moment.

Ben almost reached for her.   
  


The cackling laughter filled the huge arena sized room.

Sith spirits murmuring in the background, battle waging overhead.

When the first knight struck at Ben, he had been distracted. Crying out as his back was sliced.

Rey, shaken from her mental crisis, shouted for him. 

Turning to fight. 

She saw Ben move so quick...

It was so beautiful.

Elegant death in motion.

They moved in tandem, each taking one on then more at a time. Using their sabers... using their smaller blades.

kicking...

striking...

weaving...

bobbing...

The knights were lethal fast, silent and deadly.

Rey felt it when one struck home against her side. Grunting in anger, she yanked using the force to separate his head from his body. Slice and swipe, leap and fall to the ground... roll. She was tired of this... tired of playing fair!

Ben felt the ripples.

The undercurrent.

Shadows flickering along the ground at their feet.

He groaned, defeating two more. Watching as Rey ripped apart another knight. He saw only pleased features upon their host... was he feeding off this?

Ben sidestepped.

Rey wasn’t using her saber anymore... she was...

”Rey!” Ben yelled to her. She’d pulled him from the pit of despair and cruel loneliness... she couldn’t dive into the abyss! 

Energy moved along her skin. Wind whipping around them both. Their connection, their bond wide open and raw with such fire it could burn him alive. The stones below shook.

”Rey!” He tried again.

She couldn’t hear him.

Her current opponent was bleeding from his eyes as electricity poured from her fingers into him.   
  


All she could see was Ben disappearing before her eyes... 

All she she feel was the loss she’d felt when he was gone...

Her rage... at her helplessness. That no one even wondered where he’d gone once the dust had settled!

Ben could see it too. He could feel it. “Rey! I’m not gone! I’m still here!” But, the thundering winds were so loud his voice was being drown out. The lightning firing high, out in every direction.

Palpatine preened. “So much anger... so lost in her pain... she thought she’d let it go... the darkside was just lying in wait. Her light choking as it luxuriated.”

”no! We are strong together... it’s why she came for me! She loves me! I love her! We are a true dyad in the force you cannot corrupt us!” Ben declared like a faith he wanted to worship.   
  


Like the emperor needed to bow to it.

Rey tossed what was left of the final knight down.   
  


Ben faced her.

Both were bloody, bruised, dirty... her eyes were...

”Rey?” Ben weakly questioned.   
  


Shadows glided their way up her legs, stomach, toward her heart. Eyes blank and deep silver, they seemed endless... like gazing into a galaxy.

Their bond throbbed. 

His head ached.

Shadows crept around his own feet.

He sensed her light within. He could hear and feel the force within them bending, reaching, fuck if he didn’t love her so much... he needed to figure out what was happening!

The emperor looked energized. He had definitely fed off of whatever had been happening to her... to them.

”fight together... die together... or will you share a new fate this timeline Young Solo?” Palpatine taunted.


	27. Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben snarled. Ripping out of the grip of despair. He refused to see this timeline follow a similar path to Rey’s previous. The emperor didn’t understand... he was blind... he couldn’t fathom how strong Rey and Ben truly were! So arrogant that he had them beat. So cocky...

“I would gladly die for her, no hesitation” Ben surged forward. “But that’s not today!”

Rey was shaken from her gaze by his volume. Her eyes darting to his. Still a deep galaxy to fall into. Shadows dancing across her skin, but now liquid light seeped and joined it.

”be with me... be with me... be with me...” she whispered.

Her hand reaching for his.

At her touch, his own eyes bled their color... shared her vastness. His voice joining hers. “Be with me... be with me... be with me...”

The shadows and light swirling, began twisting around his form in tandem. 

A chorus of voices heard... Jedi and Sith alike... creating a shield against the emperor, keeping him from feeding off their force energy, off their bond anymore.   
  


Light and dark working together to protect.

As if realizing finally his supply was cut off, “no! Impossible!” The emperor roared, sending lightning towards them both.

It only ricocheted back.

He was livid.   
  


He had dismissed what was happening around them, so certain would crush them easily. But now, he heard the voices...

The difference this timeline was surmountable...

It wasn’t Rey alone, and this time it wasn’t only the Jedi voices behind her... joining her within the force. It was also the Sith spirits! Backing the boy! The power thick and suffocating...

Abandoning him!

Joining their enemies to strengthen these two children?!

Against him?!

He growled. Lurching at the pair.


	28. Mock the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He lurched.

“Nooooo! Impossible!” He was beyond livid to be abandoned by the spirits he thought his brethren, his legacy. “Why would they answer your call?!”

Ben blocked his attack easily. “You showed them how selfish you truly are, how little you care about anyone or anything besides your own power!”

Palpatine growled and snarled. 

Rey was at Ben’s side. Neither backing down. Each fighting against their common foe. All the while, as theirs sabers struck, they heard voices urging them forward. 

It wasn’t just the long dead...

Luke and Leia’s force spirits spoke to their minds, encouraging words, reminding them they weren’t alone.

Palpatine’s red saber crackled, spitting it’s hateful heat. Rey screaming when he caught her thigh. Ben reacted quickly knocking the man backward hard with the force. “Get away from her!”

“She is my blood you fool! Her life belongs to me! She imagines you love her... imagines you will cure her of her darkness as she bleeds yours away. A deadly mistake.” The emperor blasts them again with his lightning. Trying to push back the defense given by both sides. 

Furious the force unified within these two who he deemed unworthy.

But, it was to no avail.

Every surge he fired at them was aimed back at him.

Even as he struck and pierced their skin, sizzling flesh... the battle above them seemed forgotten.  
A glow surrounded each wound, the emperor roaring as the marks disappeared.

Rey guided her saber to Ben’s, they aimed.

“You hold no power over my blood!” She rallied.

“You sway no army among the Sith!” She declared spiteful.

“You are pathetic... hungry... weak in your quest for more... always more!” She pushed him. Her energy mounting with Ben’s, with the multitude of so many spirits. 

She’d never felt so alive, so full. 

So loved.

So believed in.

She could feel the fire build in Ben... sense his fighting to surface.

From both their extended hands black lighting shot. Enveloping the emperor’s body, his skin folding away...exposing bone, blood splaying. 

Veins bursting.

Ben and Rey buried their sabers into his open chest, into his heart together with a unified grunt. Their enemy wailing.


	29. Black heart be gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hissing an anguished cry, Palpatine was crumbling around their sabers. What was left of him... the pitch painful to their ears.

Ben pulled Rey back.

Holding her tightly, as her frustration boiled over... then relief. It was done.   
  


He was done.   
  


Gone.

Above them the battle was mostly over. The enemy ships falling from the sky.

Rey could feel the lost souls in the fight. But, she knew certain people weren’t among the dead.

”Do you feel the spirits still?” She asked him. Her exhausted orbs staring into his.

Ben nodded.

”they are with us... will always be with us in some ways... but, they served the purpose we requested, they are going back within the hidden realms.” She told him. Her hands finding his neck, his cheek.

”they know we’re grateful.” He added.

They knew when their bodies were absent the extra visitors. Left with only their own joint force energy now.   
  


“it’s still so much within us... they gave us such a gift, both sides?” He marveled. His nose running along hers, arms circling her waist.

”we are their chosen. We respect the balance...” Rey nuzzled.

”Finn, Poe, all of them are still winding down the last of the ships above.” She closed her eyes, concentrating. “There’s ships going down beyond here... it’s really over. Those who know he’s defeated, some of those even gave themselves up. It’s a start... rebuilding can take place.”

”and we do that together this time.” Ben smiled wide.   
  


Rey nodded.

Offering him the same wide grin.

The air around them seemed to thin, the darkness seeping away. The sky clearing slightly.   
  


Rey looked forward to celebrating this time.   
  


They needed a shower, sleep...

Ben held her hand as they made their way to their ship.


	30. Ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No repeats

Ben couldn’t describe it.

His chest ached at her absence, days... hours... it didn’t matter. They were halves of a whole. Their energy joined. It just hurt being separated.

Despite Leia’s protests, the new United Galactic Council had to evaluate his presence. Decide if he should really be free.   
  


He had gone with their soldiers willingly.

Hux and others were in similar cells after the final battle.

They’d migrated together to celebrate, everyone shocked at who paired up with who. Rey smirked at Ben’s sputtering when Poe jabbed his side as Finn slung his arms around Armitage.

Apparently apologies for his father ever creating the storm trooper program in the first place led to other conversations... those got more personal as they went. Their animosity vanished as the looming battle approached.

Rey understood.

Though Rose appeared surprised, and very disappointed.

Leia and Han were discussing possible ways to move forward with Luke when the ship arrived. They’d wasted no time announcing intentions. Kylo Ren their biggest concern, Armitage, and Phasma.   
  


Rey argued how they’d allied against the emperor.

But, the representative stated that it didn’t erase previous sins.

Ben had been right before... he wouldn’t have just happily gone home with her in any story. People hated him for who he’d been.

The new council waiting in the wings to swoop in and look strong.

Rey was furious.   
  


Finn and Poe seething.   
  
Leia comming every remaining contact she had trying to get the opportunity to speak on her son’s behalf.   
  


Dopheld guided their remaining fleet to a new location to be absorbed by the council. To serve the galaxy, he stated it was Hux’s wish for their men and women to serve the new government... by choice. Each former First Order officer and soldier was to be asked what they wanted to do now. A long monotonous task. But, It would be carried out with Han and Luke’s aid.

Finn was truly touched by Hux’s wish. He knew why, it was a stab at redemption.   
  


“they will not listen to me Leia...” Rey stated weeks later. “I have not even seen him!”

Rey noticed how much older Leia seemed. “I know... they want someone to punish. There are those who don’t care what those 3 did at the end to help. They only see the monsters that were Snoke’s puppets for so long, causing death and destruction everywhere they went.”

”that man they took was not Kylo Ren!” Rey flared rage. “That was Ben Solo!”

”they only see the one face child, and with the emperor gone... his tool Snoke gone with him... they just want to hurt someone. Because they hurt. Because they’ve lost loved ones. Armitage carries so much guilt himself, it weighs him down. I’ve had very interesting talks with Phasma as well, all three would argue they deserve this fate. Even if we see it as wrong. Even if we see them as worth saving and caring for now.” She hugged Rey to her. “The force united within you and my son, Luke and I felt it. The Sith and the Jedi spirits chose you both to right the balance. Trust they won’t abandon you now...”

Rey nodded.

A tear slid down her cheek anyway.

Their bond hummed. She could feel him needing her as much as she needed him. She loved him so much...

‘I’m here...’ she thought.   
  



	31. Demand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey could feel his spirit slipping into depression, drowning in the thick dark pools of self doubt, self hate. She despised the fact that this new government caused it, even as they gave new hope to the galaxy. It was breaking her heart. She knew Finn was torn as well despite feeling so cheated being taken away from Hux so quickly, and Phasma was facing her loneliness bravely with no one. Six months stuck in their cells... Rey was livid.

“Finn I’ve had it! I’m done!” Rey fumed.

He nodded, sighing.

”we’ve given them their time to process, demonstrate their justice... they’ve let them rot! There’s been no damn trial! There’s been no process! It’s as if they hoped we’d forget and they were just going to quietly wait until they could later execute them!” Rey declared, pacing back and forth.

”Poe told me they haven’t been treated well either, it’s as if these officials don’t recall common humanity. They just want to punish them. He was trying to improve things, when someone noticed... his clearance got blocked. Leia is not pleased. But, she’s been prevented too because of her family connection. It’s ridiculous.” Finn complained. He buried his face in his hands. “I know he was a cruel man once... he was bathed in blood... but, he was sincere when he broke down apologizing to me. It was beautiful Rey, I know it was real. I don’t think they deserve to be there. They deserve to try to make new lives, and show they’ve changed. They fought with us!”

Rey saw his pain.

Rey fully agreed.

Rey faced the full United Galactic Council. Much to their dismay, behind her came the faces that represented the freedom of the galaxy. She had invited the media to see their interaction.

She demanded answers.

They couldn’t force her down.

They couldn’t avoid her sneak attack on their meeting.   
  


Their ashamed sputterings about the lack of basic hygiene, food and water withheld, abuse, lack of trial progression, and the revelation of what the three fugitives actually contributed during the war with the emperor... brought about an overwhelming response.   
  


Rey pointed out how they’d defected from Snoke to join with the Resistance, how Kylo became Ben Solo and fought to defeat the emperor, how Hux fed information and gave aid to those who’d once been his enemies. That the three fugitives were allies at the time of their arrest.   
  


Their treatment having been cruel. There had been no fighting back, not even while they’ve been in custody. She sneered at the council members, pointing at them. “You wanted to hurt them, to alleviate by our pain. How does that make you less the villain? They became heroes? You need to release them... before I burn your new government down around you!”

Energy crackled around her.

Down her skin.

Her eyes deep pools of light. 

Her anger fueled by her desire to see Ben again.

Leia and Han stood proudly behind her. Luke, Poe, Finn, Rose, and Dopheld just beyond them. The broadcast being shown to every point of the stars. There was no hiding her words.

The savior had spoken... the people were listening.


End file.
